Forgiven

~Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."-1 Corinthians 9:24




"I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen, not only because I see it but because, by it, I see everything else." 


"...a Christian is not a man who never goes wrong, but a man who is enabled to repent and pick himself up and begin over again after each stumble..."-(both) C.S. Lewis


I'm a contradiction. I always have been. When I was in about 8th or 9th grade, every sentence I said contradicted itself or the surrounding sentences. My actions fall short of my beliefs and I'm one of the poorest decision-makers I know. I told someone recently that the best decision I made was to pierce my nose (spur of the moment decision): what does that say about me?


The worst decisions I make are when something contradicts my beliefs, but seems pleasurable in my mind. Somehow, I manage to make myself think that it's okay to do that: God will forgive me. I can go to a party, I can take a sip of alcohol and still claim to not drink, it's okay to sample everything a little bit...you get the picture. That's just one example. Another would be when I got pissed for getting a speeding ticket for the one time I drove 70 in a 65-I just tried to justify it by explaining how normally I drive 85 not 70, so this time I wasn't really doing anything wrong. But I was graciously reminded that 70 is still speeding and has the same penalty as 85.


One good that has come out of periodical falls: I am less apt to judge people harshly. Because I've put on a false face a time or two, I am sure as hell in no position to judge others who do the same. Reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis has helped influence my perspective as well. And the music I listen to (check out "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real) points out that our God is one who is loving and forgiving (for reference google "Jesus"). I mean, who gives up their own perfect life for the life of sinners like me? If that's not love, ... well, it is love, there's no alternative.


Which brings me to my next point: I became a Christian in May and have been reading Christian resources ever since, trying to be better, trying to live it. And in church this morning, I was thinking about some of the books I've been reading recently and came up with random proof of this God and Christianity thing. I wrote them down on the program and will present them here:


Shannon's Random Proof of Christianity (scribbled on paper as "Reasons to Believe Christianity")
1. Genesis explains where we came from. (Genesis 1 to be precise)
2. How would Noah have known to build an ark if God hadn't told him? (Genesis 6-9)
3. How could a virgin be pregnant if it wasn't the work of God? (google "what causes pregnancy" if unsure)
4. We know Jesus was sinless. Think about it: here's this dude, running around, performing miracles, and claiming to be the "Son of God." Don't you think everyone was watching Him closely? Surely Judas or one of the others would've mentioned it if He'd sinned. But nobody could find a fault in Him. (check out the ending of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, or random places in the New Testament for reference)
5. The supernatural miracles that Jesus performed-enabling the blind man to see, healing the 10 lepers, and  feeding 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, just to name a small percentage, were obviously not from a normal man. But from a God-man. (reference Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John)
6. He rose from the dead. And walked around, talking to people. There were witnesses. (Matthew 28)


As far as living it out...eh. I'm sure that I'm no worse than I've ever been, maybe even better, by the standards of this world. But because I know and am acutely aware of right and wrong (prayer will do that to ya) my errors stand out (to me) more so than before I was a Christian (Christian=God's little buddy). And it can be hard for me to forgive myself, or to even let myself see the truth of my actions. But I'm working on it. After all, I'm a Christian, and my purpose on this earth is to become "a little Christ" in order to show Christ's love to others so we can all party in Heaven someday. I'm messed up, but God loves me anywyay, and He loves you too.  :)


(This is how I use my time at school. I have 3 finals this week and plan to study for approximately zero of them.) Ha.